By Meredith Stutts, LICSW
Do you ever feel overwhelmed, pulled in multiple directions at once? Trying to balance relationships, excel at your job, be the perfect parent and/or care for your aging parents? More than 50% of Americans over the age of 40 are simultaneously caring for both growing children AND their aging parents, otherwise known as “the sandwich generation.” We are being stretched in every area of our lives and the impact can take its toll, often at the expense of our own well-being.
As caregivers, we strive to ensure that everyone—both young and old—is safe and well cared for. The responsibilities of being in the sandwich generation often have a ripple effect throughout our life. For example, if mom has a fall, we have to carve out time in the day to visit her at rehab and keep up with her progress and medical recommendations. That may take time away from work and/or shuffling kids to after school activities. It may have a financial impact as you might have to pay for outside care when she returns home. Our kids might act out seeking more attention or we may be too tired at the end of the day to connect with our significant other. Increased stress often impacts both our mental and physical health. And, studies show that the sandwich generation is providing support for longer periods now than in the past, so it’s important to pace yourself.
Flight attendants have the right idea: put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. While you are caring for everyone else don’t forget the importance of your own self-care. It often helps to know that you are not alone. Know that there are resources available to support you, such as CJFS, which offers counseling services, caregiver support groups, and care management for older adults. If there are tasks that someone else can help with, let them. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help.
Make time for yourself every day. Simple ways to do this include connecting with nature—perhaps by enjoying your morning coffee outdoors or taking a walk—connecting with others, such as a friend who isn’t part of your caregiving circle, and connecting with yourself, even if it’s just sitting in your car for five minutes before moving on to the next task. Don’t forget to nurture yourself while caring for your loved ones. Who will take care of them if your body or spirit gives out? In the end, taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity. Prioritize your own well-being, and you’ll be in a better position to care for others.
Remember, CJFS is here to support you with care management for your aging loved one, counseling, transportation, caregiver support groups and more. Call 205.879.3438 or visit cjfsbham.org for more information.
