by Caleigh Rathmell Alevy, LMSW
As I exchange pleasantries with a passerby, my children often ask, “Who was that?” Their curiosity never gets old. Sometimes, the person is a friend and I explain how I know them; but often it’s a “stranger” and I’m simply acknowledging them with a wave or a smile and a “hi”.
My kids have witnessed enough of these interactions to know that I don’t mind if the person doesn’t reciprocate my greeting. I remind them that it’s more about giving than receiving. I want to spread kindness and offer human connection, something that sometimes gets lost in today’s digitally connected world.
One of my kids usually follows up with, “Why did you say “hi”?”
I explain, “It’s simple, really, I want them to know they are seen. And that we are in this world together.”
When I was a teenager, I yearned to feel accepted and noticed but felt insecure and lacked confidence. Back then, I certainly wasn’t comfortable with taking the chance that someone wouldn’t reciprocate my “hello”. Then in college, I was shocked when a friend who I had known many years but had recently become close to said, “when we were younger, I thought you were snobby because you never looked at me or spoke to me.”
It suddenly became clear I had the power to create a positive impact by focusing on my surroundings, being open and friendly, and spreading kindness. To this very day, I carry that experience with me and try to greet people as often as I get the opportunity.
There is a lot of negativity, outrage, and anger in our world today, particularly online. I worry about what lies ahead, especially for my children. As tempting as it is to engage around those messages on social media, I challenge myself to take in my surroundings and remember how rewarding it feels to connect with nature and the people around me. I don’t want to miss a possible opportunity to see someone’s smile or hear their voice. These fleeting moments remind me that there is goodness in the world and hope for our future.
Will you join me and challenge yourself to say hello to a stranger? It is impossible for my children to understand what the world was like before cell phones and computers; but continuing the practice of greetings models for them that engaging face-to-face carries unique value and genuine engagement. Remember too, your kindness may just be a lifeline for someone in need of a smile.
